What I was feeling when Tom and Gatsby were together...

When Tom and Gatsby were together, well that was a little weird. Imagine having the two men you've loved in your life in the same room at the same time. They both knew exactly what was going on and things were just awkward. I felt like I was in the middle of a war zone and we were waiting for bombs to go off. I knew that I loved them both at some point in my life. I was quite sure who I loved at that moment though. I felt torn between the two because I have had different feelings with both of them. My connection with Gatsby trumped Tom at some times, but at other times my love for Tom exceeded Gatsby.It was a battlefield in my heart. I couldn't tell which one I loved more, but it was certain that I loved them both. My heart yearned to be with my first true love Gatsby after he had left for the war. We missed so much precious time together and needed to get back to where we were. My love for him was evident and even Tom could see it. And that made Tom furious. I couldn't have Tom angry though because I loved him too. He fathered my child and loved me while Gatsby was gone. Was he just a rebound though? Was I really in love with him, or was I just missing Gatsby? My heart and mind were completely confused and going a mile a minute. Love was a feeling with a completely different meaning when you switched from Tom to Gatsby. With one man, I felt this feeling. With the other man, I felt that feeling. How was I supposed to choose? This awkward and troubling feeling inside of me was not helping at all in settling the evident conflict between Tom and Gatsby.